Short McCain

Any price. Your size.

e e cummings writes a lyric

saturday saturday saturday saturday saturday saturday saturday saturday saturday night's alright
saturday saturday saturday saturday saturday saturday saturday saturday saturday night's alright
saturday saturday saturday saturday saturday saturday saturday saturday saturday night's alright
woo hee

Pick One

You can call America's conflict with Islamic extremists a (or even "the") "long war". Or you can talk about the latitude which should be given a President or government during wartime. To attempt both at once shows only stupidity, and a presumption that others share your stupidity.

Pleas for Calm

How can we stay calm at the behest of the same people who caused the panic in the first place?

Who Knew?

Another great headline in the British papers: "Shock admission from Bank of England... WE CAN'T CONTROL MORTGAGE RATES!" Coming next, weather and teenagers are also tricky.

Explanations

In his debate with Matt Feeney, Jonah Goldberg is apparently too squeamish to close the loophole in his argument: to point out the "child-rearing customs" of mutilation and domestic slavery for girls, and violence and drunken idleness for boys, are a large contributor to the merely economic failures Mr. Goldberg does note.

Brothers

So it turns out I have two things in common with Paul Krugman: neither of us writes about what we understand, and neither of us is ever going to win a Nobel prize.

Alan Bennett Hates Women

Is there any other explanation for the excruciatingly dull and stupid monologue with which he has saddled the lone female character in The History Boys? This page of platitudes sits in an otherwise well-paced piece of homosexual escapism like a varicose grandmother on a swim team.

Would it work?

The poster for the Bruce Willis movie Hostage features what must be the stupidest tagline ever: "Would you sacrifice another family to save your own?"

HSBC

Not only setting the fox to guard the henhouse, but paying him ten bucks a year for his efforts.

Giorgio Armani underwear

Not very good for your love life, apparently. According to their poster ads, you will end up masturbating into a towel -- but really enjoying it!